That is my motto with my medication's at the moment.
I didn't realise how much Orencia was helping me until I was 3 weeks overdue for an infusion. My pain levels went up so high during that three weeks, which surprised me, but not nearly as much as my fatigue levels. I got that I didn't have to take so many naps during the day on the Orencia, but I so didn't get that I wasn't dragging through the day anymore.
It just goes to show you that sometimes we just don't see how much something is helping us, until it is gone that is.
I hear so many people complain about the side effects of the medicines, or that they just don't work. When for me at least, sometimes the changes happen so gradually that they are really hard to notice, but they are there.
I know that those of us with RA get to a stage where we just want things to work, but in reality 6 months or so, isn't really that long when we are talking about a disease we will be dealing with for the rest of our lives. I do understand wanting to feel better, believe me I do. I understand wanting our old lives back. I think sometimes we look back and not forward. We have an incurable destructive disease. That disease does not have to take our futures though. Yes it will likely change our futures. I can no longer work, and I really enjoyed the work I did. When I had to quit I had my own home based family daycare. I love children, love being surrounded by them, but I did have to quit. In the year that I was working my disease advanced very quickly. I had more damage in that year than I did the few years before it. So I made the best decision I could for my family and my health I quit. I took a good long look at my life and realised that I wanted to be able to enjoy my life. Yes I loved working but it was taking a toll on me. One I didn't really see till after the damage was done. Since I have quit working and moved and have less stress, physically I am doing so much better. Yes I have daily pain, yes I have permanent damage, but I have my life. My outlook as well as my future have changed. I see the beauty in life without the rush to get things done. No I will never get to go rock climbing and explore caves. I most likely won't get to ever go swimming in the gulf of the coast of MS with the dolphins. I will never get to explore the mountains and the trails n TN in the Smoky Mountain National Park. Those things don't mean I can't enjoy my life though, cause I can still watch the sun rise and set. I can still take the time to watch the leaves fall and regrow. I can notice the trees flowering. Sad thing is I never in the first 30 years of my life noticed that. Seriously until I moved to Australia and settled in I never noticed or saw the beauty of the changing seasons.
I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe we need to try and take the time to notice and see the things we normally wouldn't
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