I have never been a small woman, have always had some extra meat on my bones so to speak. Since going on biological therapy for my RA though I have gained weight. Within a month of starting Enbrel I put on 5 kilos, then another 5 the next month. Now the really odd thing about that was I was more active and eating less. Well I was more active when I was not having a Migraine for three days that usually kept me from being able to eat anything at all.
A few years ago I was on Prednisone, but didn't have a huge amount of weight gain, in fact lost a bit of weight but I was post pregnancy and breast feeding. I then fluctuated for a while on it and was never able to loose more than the 5 kilos. So when I started the biologicals I was really upset that I put the extra kilos on. I could not for the life of me figure out why the heck I would be gaining. Oh well ultimately that doesn't actually matter. So long story short I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. When I moved to Australia I was 76 Kilo's and despite my MIL telling me I still needed to loose weight I felt pretty good about myself. Especially when I was able to fit into some size 14 pants for the first time in years. Now I was very disheartened when my MIL blurted out that I just needed to loose some weight and my RA would get magically better. It hurt even more considering I have lost 80 pounds from the first time she met me, and she never said a damn word about it. I had worked hard, 3 jobs at once, plus taking care of her grandchild and son and she couldn't even say you have done a good job getting all those baby pounds plus a few off. But I digress. When I was at 76 Kilos I felt good, but my RA wasn't any better than it had been when I was 20 - 30 Kilo's heavier. In fact in some ways the pain was worse.
Today I made a decision, I was to be 75 Kilos by the time I am 40. I turned 37 this year, so I am giving myself almost 3 years to get the weight off, and as embarrassing as I find it I will tell you I have to loose about 50 Kilo's I think. I hate that I have had weight problems my whole life, but there isn't anything I can do about that. I am going to give myself what seem like a reasonable goal and try to move forward with it.
The thing is I know in my heart that if I don't get all those Kilo's off I will still be okay. Truth be told it just means that it could take a bit longer. I want to be a healthier fitter mom and spouse and the only way I can do that is jump in and try, right? I may be stuck with an RA body that has disfigured hands and lumps and bumps places. Being on pred for a while, may have made my tummy a shape that I don't so much like, but I can be happy with me. I want to undertake the time and changes that I need to do to be happy with me. My kids love my and my hubby loves me, that makes all the difference in the world, now I just need to make sure I am around for as long as possible, and that means taking better care of me.
Sorry I know I rambled...
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